I have known Fireflies from its beginning. But I never went beyond that to really know what it was. I was never curious, honestly speaking. I usually distance myself from entering new groups or crowds. I visited only rarely, that too when my brother insisted for the fifth time.

After joining an NGO in Attappady, I would come home for short breaks of five days. Every time, my brother would try his best to take me to ‘Chimminikood’. But I felt alienated and left out whenever I visited, because I was a new face. I mostly avoid such situations.

Things changed when I came home after two years, resigning from Attappady.

I stayed jobless. Doing nothing. Scrolling endlessly. Overthinking. Questioning my own decisions: money, broken confidence, a clueless career, unclear passion, anxiety, fear of people. I was stuck in a loop.

One day, Gowri chechi (Co- founder of Fireflies community & Chimminikood)  came from Vellore to take a session at Chimminikood. After convincing me five times, she finally managed to get a yes from me to attend the Failure-Circle session.

The session went well. I spoke a little  because I had a story to tell. Of being an introvert. Of being left out. Of feeling invisible in classrooms. My voice was dry, and it was hard to explain anything with a shaking voice, but somehow, I did.

After the session, Gowri chechi told me,
“You won’t get hurt. Try the internship at Fireflies. If it doesn’t work, you can always come back. But please give it a try.”

They had already tried and failed to bring me to Chimminikood earlier. This time, something felt different.

One day, I visited Chimminikood alone, without my brother (who is also a co-founder of Chimminikood). It was September 7, 2025. I joined as a documentation intern.

It didn’t take me long to sink in.

I was given tasks. I explored the editing platform Canva more deeply. I made posters and wrote content. Shreyes helped me with shortcuts and techniques. I worked on newsletters not just writing, but designing them too.

What I understood slowly was this: every individual’s talent is appreciated here. You get the space to explore what works for you. Apart from a few reference manuals in the media, everything else is your idea, your art, your narrative. No one forces you to create content according to someone else’s taste.

There are many volunteering opportunities at Fireflies. I had never volunteered anywhere before. Yet, I became part of the core team for a few events.

The funny thing is I hate numbers. I even think I might have dyscalculia. But I still managed the finance part for a few events and handled our outreach and fundraising stall management during the Kasaragod Flea.

I stood in our stall shivering, sweating, anxious explaining Chimminikood and Fireflies to strangers. I spoke to people. I stayed.

In Trivandrum, during the last day of Spread the Spice (another outreach event), I suddenly went to hang on a pull-up bar in the middle of the rain, surrounded by people. I couldn’t hold it for more than two seconds. But I have never felt prouder of myself.

My friends were shocked. They told me they never imagined I would do something like that. They were proud of me and that mattered.

After I tried, a few girls came forward to try as well. That made me even prouder.

During the Kasaragod Flea, I did it again facing a huge crowd in my own hometown. I walked around holding a “Free Hug” board, hugging children, men, women, everyone. I was nervous and sweating, but every hug made me feel worthy.

Now I have a place to go other than the beaches around me.

Chimminikood was a stranger that turned into a home.

I know all its corners now. The chilla where you can sit in a circle, or alone. A place where you can cry, hug, dance, sing, or play. We even have a tree net on our mango tree now.

Chimminikood is mostly filled with ‘fireflies’. There are also days when the space is empty. I have met many people here who are empathetic, confused, like-minded, and unsure, just like me. There were moments when I felt offended by certain comments. I won’t say everyone here is non-judgmental  but the motive of the space is.

I now truly understand when my brother says,
“Chimminikood belongs to everyone. So everyone should take care of it as their own.”

One of my closest friends once texted me:
“I want to visit Chimminikood, but I think I need to socialize more first. The circle, the mic, the questions in your photos scare me.”

I replied,
“If I am comfortable sitting in that circle, you will be too. There is no one to judge you, no marks, no right or wrong. People will respect you, give you time, and sit with you if things get hard.”